Sober and Jobless – Cultivate Hope!

So you stopped drinking, have been sober for months and then you lose your job! Everything happens in waves and it never rains but it pours. If you have lost your job, or are in the valley of a job transition, you are probably feeling super stressed. You may have been retrenched, have picked up a second job to pay the bills, or simply cannot find work. Take a look at these 10 points for a hopeful future and try to spend this time on YOU!


  1. Take an honest look at yourself.

What are your strengths, weaknesses, and skills? How did those influence—positively or negatively—your transition? Life Coach, Paul Ledebur says that while “honesty is the best policy” have you ever thought about how important it is to be Honest with Yourself?  “This can be the most difficult thing we can do.  One aspect of being honest with ourselves means that we have to recognize and admit that we are not perfect.  Well, let me tell you, no one’s perfect.  You are in the company of 7 billion imperfect partners in this world, so don’t worry about that.  The good thing about being honest with one’s self is our ability to fix the issues that we recognize.  A commitment to honesty plays a crucial role in learning, growing and personal development“.

  1. Admitting your imperfections and finding your weaknesses is the ONLY way that you can fix them.

“Perhaps our greatest struggle is to accept and love ourselves in spite of our many flaws. Since we tend to be programmed with a desire for perfection, this isn’t something that’s likely to happen without some work. Self-acceptance is steady and unconditional. Once you are able to accept yourself despite any perceived flaws, failures, and limitations, you will be able to see yourself and your imperfections as “perfect” for you. You’ll also be more self-forgiving, letting go of self-judgment and perfectionism.” These are the wise words of Dr Whitney Gordon-Mead.

  1. Step up your self-care.

Major changes are physically and emotionally taxing. You need self-care now more than ever. Self-care is that all-encompassing term for these factors, thanks to Tchiki Davis on Psychology Today:

  • Self-care, which includes nutrition, stress reduction, and exercise, helps keep a person happy, healthy, and resilient.
  • Me-time is usually last on the agenda for most people, largely due to technology and job stress.
  • Things like taking a trip or simply getting outside can contribute to lowering one’s stress level and increasing life satisfaction.
  1. Engage your curiosity.

What went wrong, or right? What could you have done better? What worked really well?

  1. Focus on what you want, and less on what you don’t want. Keep your eye on the prize.
  2. Find support. Since your transition affects your family as well, it may be better to seek the outside support of friends or professionals.
  3. Work on your thoughts. Calm your fears and reinforce your sense of hope and happiness.

Did you know that “by changing the way you think, you start to see changes in your attitude and behaviour, which leads to a more fulfilling life overall?” Giorgio Genaus is a passionate coach who knows about the power of thoughts and how they can affect our lives. “If we change the way we think, we can drive ownership over the course of life. It all boils down to how you process your thoughts and your reactions. Your thoughts are incredibly powerful. They have the ability to affect your mood, behaviour and overall outlook on life. Yet they also have the power to overrule it.”

Join a group like Tribe Sober or reach out to friends and family. There are many online support groups and do the research for face-to-face groups in your area.

  1. Reassure (or avoid) those who are threatened by, or jealous of, the change.
  1. Create your own rite of passage. Ceremony and ritual help with all transitions. Lucy Gower talks about rituals that make us who we are and enhance our commitment to a great life in the LifeHack series:

“A daily ritual is similar to a daily routine since they are also a series of tasks that are completed in the same order. But a daily ritual differs in its intention. Daily rituals are meaningful practices and are internally motivated. A daily ritual can provide energy and enjoyment along with efficiency and structure. A ritual is a carefully selected way of doing something that has a sense of purpose and a positive side effect in addition to the straightforward completion of the task.

  1. Let go of how things were “supposed to be” and accept “how things are.” Find appreciation for what is.

Keep things in perspective. Or try on a new perspective. Don’t get stuck. Remember, the only constant is change. Dr Ghanshyam Singh reminds is that change is a fundamental aspect of life. “Everything around us is subject to change, from the weather to the seasons, from technology to society. Change is the only constant in life. No matter how much we try to resist it, change is inevitable…The first reason why change is inevitable is that the world is constantly evolving. New discoveries are being made, and new technologies are being developed, which makes it impossible to maintain the status quo. As we learn more about the world around us, we must adapt and change our ways of thinking and doing things. Change can have many positive impacts on our lives and the world around us. A key benefit of change is growth and development, both on an individual and societal level. New experiences, challenges, and opportunities can help us learn and develop new skills, knowledge, and perspectives.”

You may have lost your job, or find yourself between work, but now is the time for reflection, introspection and self-care. Now is the time to get excited about planning something you want to do for you! Good luck.



The 11 Year Fact

Did you know that the average dependent drinker will struggle alone for 11 years before reaching out for help?

Don’t wait for 11 years – join Tribe Sober today!