”I’m Sober… so Now What?” with Sober Queen Connie



Connie McMillan is an author and a Sober Coach. Her book is called From Alcohol Fiend to Sobriety Queen and that pretty much sums up her journey.  After years of heavy drinking she decided she was tired of the hangovers and broken promises, so she did something about it – she put down her glass and took back her power!

In this Episode

  • Connie didn’t start drinking until her 30s but alcohol made quite an impression on her – she describes it as “an awakening”
  • The alcohol took hold quickly and she married a heavy drinker
  • She saw alcohol as a way to escape, to feel pretty, to feel courageous
  • But it also brought her down – even making her feel suicidal at times
  • Like many of us Connie had tried to stop many times and of course, made plenty of “rules”
  • “I won’t drink this weekend “or “I’ll just drink wine because I don’t like wine”
  • She told her husband about her decision to stop drinking during a dinner at a restaurant – he was not supportive and she ended up drinking more than ever that evening
  • Her marriage eventually ended in divorce which was challenging but looking back she can see that she lost herself – to alcohol and to the marriage
  • Connie explained how she managed to stop drinking and it’s quite a story!
  • She had been praying to God for help with her drinking problem but was still struggling
  • One night she brought her favorite bottle of alcohol home and put her glass in the freezer to chill. When the glass was frosted she poured the alcohol in and took a sip.
  • She choked on it… but thought nothing of it, waited a few moments, and took another sip
  • She choked again!
  • She believed that this was the sign from God that she had been waiting for – he was helping her so she resisted taking another sip and didn’t drink again
  • Connie has also transformed her mobile bar service from alcoholic to alcohol-free drinks and it’s thriving!
  • That was 8 years ago!
  • We both agreed that when we get sober our life will unfold in ways we never imagined
  • Connie explained that even if we come from an alcoholic family we can break the “generational curse by showing how an alcohol-free life can be lived
  • We talked about the power of vulnerability and the fact that most of us are brought up to hide our vulnerability and that’s why the recovery community is such a relief to many of us – we can be authentic and ask for help if we need it
  • In 2018 she released her first book which has a great title – it’s called Alcohol Fiend to Sobriety Queen: 25 tips to Putting Down the Bottle and Picking Up Your Crown – available from Amazon – I’ll put the info in the show notes
  • Connie’s book led to speaking engagements and she is keen to share her story which she knows will help others
  • She also has a podcast called Sober Confessions
  • She is a Sober Coach and is planning to coach people who are already sober but are looking for the next stage
  • I think this is a great idea – we need to see our sobriety as the foundation for self-development – and coaching can help us to find our purpose and fulfill our potential
  • I asked Connie for some advice for people who know they need to make a change but don’t know how to get started and she had some great advice
  • She suggests hanging out in Sobriety Rooms in Clubhouse – no need to say anything, just listen to other people’s stories – and reading some quitlit books
  • Once you realise you are not alone in this you will feel more confident to reach out to sober communities
  • Here at Tribe Sober, we recommend that people just listen and learn to start with – you don’t even have to stop drinking but we can guarantee you’ll get inspired to give alcohol-free living a chance!

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