Tribe Sober – Inspiring an Alcohol-free Life!
SOBER SHORT 9 – Find a Project!
I’m kicking off our Sober Short series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – just go to tribesober.com, hit Our Services and you’ll find all the info about our workshops. You can do a group workshop or a private workshop to suit your schedule and time zone.
These workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober life then sign up today. The next Workshop is on 27th March – morning for US people and afternoon/early evening for UK, Europe and South Africa.
During the first 8 Sober Shorts, we looked at the first Tools in our toolbox. Before we move on to tool number 9, let’s do a quick recap…
In this Episode
Tool number 1 was “Get Connected”
- Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path.
- If you’re not yet a member of our tribe please check us out on tribesober.com – just hit “join our tribe” to read about the benefits of membership.
Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”
- We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many people exercise daily but they also drink daily – sometimes excessively. Ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you will get!
Tool number 3 was “Building Emotional Strength”
- All about “learning to sit with our feelings” – instead of trying to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button” and enables us to bypass difficult emotions.
- We have to “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” as Tribe Sober coach Lynette says, or as Glennon Doyle says, “First the Pain, then the Rising.”
Tool number 4 was all about “Mindset”
- It was about changing your thinking – about drinking.
- We talked about overturning those false beliefs that we have picked up over the years — for example, we believe that we deserve a drink at the end of the day!
- We talked about overturning those beliefs – one by one.
- “Do the work” and you will never see alcohol in the same way and…
- You will never suffer from FOMO which is the key to sticking to your sobriety.
Tool number 5 was about “Visualisation”
- We talked about some powerful ways to use visualisation.
- One of them was to “Play the movie forward” – if you get the urge to drink, then just think it through – what will happen after that first glass. Do you really want to wake up at 3 am full of anxiety and regret?
- Do you really want to keep going back to Day 1 – and do the hardest bit – again and again?
Tool number 6 was called “Information is Power”
- It’s hard to believe it these days but not that long ago we had NO IDEA that smoking was bad for us.
- Even if you do decide to carry on drinking then make sure that it’s an informed choice. The information is out there and just a quick Google search will connect you with scientific research proving that alcohol is linked to 7 different types of cancer and more than 60 diseases.
- That’s a good place to start and there are many QuitLit books out there and of course podcasts – almost 100 episodes of the Tribe Sober podcast are available now, all packed with advice inspiration and information.
- If you’d like a QuitLit Reading list just email firstname.lastname@example.org – you can also go to tribesober.com and hit the Inspiration tab where you’ll find a wealth of information that will inspire you to get started – and motivate you to keep going.
Tool number 7 was “Be Accountable”
- When we embark on this journey, we need a community of people who actually care – people who have been where we are now and can advise and encourage us – people who are thriving in their alcohol-free lives and can inspire us that it really is worth doing this thing.
- WE NEED TO BE ACCOUNTABLE – we need to know that we can share our ups and downs with other people who really get us.
- So, if you are looking for a sober community to inspire you and keep you on track just go to tribesober.com and hit join our tribe.
- If you’d like to sample the kind of support we offer then email email@example.com and request our Sobriety Battleplan pdf which is packed with great advice, charts and trackers.
Last week looked at TOOL Number 8 which is “Journaling”
- At our workshops, we advise people to buy a beautiful notebook that will become their sobriety journal throughout this life-changing journey.
- Sobriety is a journey of self-discovery and recording your thoughts, emotions, struggles, and accomplishments is so beneficial.
- We recommended listing your Why’s (why do you want to quit drinking) in the front of the journal and your blacklist (everything that went wrong when you drank) in the back.
- Early sobriety is a very emotional time and for most of us it really helps to process emotions if we can write them down.
- We can note our triggers as well as strategies for coping with them.
- Journaling will give us perspective – reading back on the early weeks of sobriety will remind us just how hard it was – and make us realise it’s getting better and easier every day.
So let’s get to Tool No 9 – “Get a Project”
- It’s very common for people to feel a bit flat once they have achieved their first few months of sobriety. The pink cloud has gone and they are left wondering “is this it?” It certainly happened to me – it’s a kind of anhedonia when we can’t seem to feel pleasure from anything and we start to wonder if we have done the right thing.
- This happened to me during month 4,5,6 and I very nearly gave up – trouble was I was blogging away about the joys of sobriety and everyone was telling me they were so “proud of me” so I felt accountable and obliged to keep going. So I did – but it was a miserable time.
- Many people in Tribe Sober experienced that “flatness/depression/void” or whatever you want to call it – when they asked me what they should do about it I just told them to sit it out as it would eventually pass.
- However that advice changed after my podcast interview with Dr Loretta Breuning (author of the Happy Brain) – do have a listen, its episode 55 and was released on 14 August 2021.
- Loretta questioned me about my few months of anhedonia and we discovered that it could have been avoided, so now I am able to give people more positive advice than “sitting it out” when they get those early sobriety blues.
- Loretta explained that my brain was quite happy during the first few months as it had registered that it was working on a project (ie sobriety) and I was making progress – however after a few months my subconscious was thinking – ok so now we are sober, now what?
- Well here’s the thing – as human beings we need projects – think of the cavemen, they would wake up hungry and have to go and find some food, eating the food would give them a dopamine hit but then they would get hungry again and have to go hunting.
- Human beings weren’t designed to sit on the sofa and order takeaway food – of course we can do that but it won’t make us happy or keep us healthy
- So back to sobriety – as Loretta analysed my anhedonia she helped me to realise that it hadn’t passed because I had been patient and waited – it had passed because I had the idea to start Tribe Sober – I had a project, which needed lots of mini goals and learning. I had to create a website, design a workshop and learn about marketing – all this kept me busy and kept my happy brain chemicals triggered.
- So many of our tribe have experimented with different projects and have been able to reconnect with their creativity.
- When we ditch the drink we have time (and hopefully a bit of extra money now that we don’t buy booze) so there is ample opportunity to find your passion.
- So, as I said in a recent article I wrote, (link will be in the show notes) Don’t wait for Happiness to Strike – get a project!
So that was Tool number 9 – “Get a Project”. I’ll be back with our main podcast on Saturday and another Sober Short next Wednesday.
You can check out our next workshop (27th March) on tribesober.com where we cover the toolkit and much more.
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