86. Sober Short – Building Emotional Strength


Tribe Sober – inspiring an alcohol-free life!

Welcome to our third “Sober Short” – an interim mini podcast to supplement the weekly Tribe Sober podcast.

I’m going to kick off this series by taking you through our Tribe Sober Toolkit – this toolkit is just one of the things that we share with you during our regular Zoom workshops – click here for more info.

Our workshops have been a gamechanger for many people so if you want to kickstart your sober journey then sign up today.

In this episode

During the first two Sober Shorts we looked at Tools number one and two in our toolbox.

Tool number 1 was “Connection”

“Connection is the Opposite of Addiction” and if you’re serious about getting sober then you need to connect with others on the same path – and also to connect to yourself.

On episode 69 of the Tribe Sober podcast you can hear our Yoga Teacher Tamsin explaining how yoga can enable us to reconnect with our bodies in recovery – Tribe members have access to a daily yoga class with Tamsin which is a wonderful start to the day.

Tool number 2 was “Get Moving”

We all know is that exercise is “good for us” and many many people exercise daily but they also drink on a daily basis – sometimes excessively – ditch the drink and keep exercising and you will be amazed at how much fitter you get.

Today we are going to look at Tool number 3!


  • Our emotional maturity stalls when we start drinking heavily – so I must have been 18 for a long time!
  • If we’ve been numbing our feelings for years we haven’t learned how to deal with the difficult times.
  • It’s a bit of a cliché to say that difficult times are “character building” but they are…they build resilience.
  • Our wonderful coach, Lynette, always tells us that we must “get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and I think that is so true.
  • It’s really hard to do that at first but (to quote Lynette again) – “what’s wrong with hard?”
  • We have to learn to sit with our feelings – not try to chase them away with alcohol – alcohol is the “easy button”.
  • When I was drinking and I felt miserable I would pour myself a glass of bubbly to “perk myself” up – it worked but I usually overdid it and felt even worse the next day!
  • Now that I am sober, life is not all sunshine and roses BUT if I feel miserable I will just take a breath and remind myself that, yes, today is not great but by tomorrow (or certainly the day after) I am going to feel fine again.
  • We need to accept that we were not put on earth to be happy 24/7 whatever our Instagram feed says – the human experience is to deal with the ups and the downs and learn from them if possible.
  • To quote the Victor Frankl – “we are not put on earth to seek pleasure (in spite of what Freud teaches) or to seek power (in spite of Adlers teaching) – we are put on earth to find meaning and purpose in our lives”.
  • And it’s our pain that will lead us to our purpose – I was in a lot of pain during my struggles with alcohol, but I eventually reached out for help which not only led me out of my own addiction but enabled me to find my purpose and help others to change their relationship with alcohol.
  • So instead of numbing out we need to learn to reconnect with ourselves and this is where yoga can play a role – listen to episode 69 with our TS yoga teacher.

We need to learn to be Warriors

  • Glennon Doyle has a brilliant Super Soul podcast – called “First the Pain, then the Rising”.
  • She talks about how alcohol becomes the “Easy Button” which we use to bypass pain – but in fact pain is our greatest teacher and we should embrace it and welcome its power.
  • Emotional pain will build resilience which will enable us to cope with future challenges.
  • The pain may be big but our courage is bigger
  • The journey of the sober warrior is to stop hiding from the pain– instead you need to march straight into the pain

You need your pain

  • “Life is full of pain and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something”
  • Heartbreak is the greatest teacher of all – don’t use the easy button top to avoid it. Use it as your professor to guide you towards others – and there you will find your purpose. There you find your tribe -nothing bonds people so greatly as having been through the same struggle – that is the magic of the recovery movement.
  • Our collective pain is becoming our collective power as we learn to thrive in our alcohol-free lives and call out Big Alcohol and its marketing…
  • Pain will connect us to our purpose – and our tribe.
  • Thinking of Tribe Sober for a moment – many of our members have been brought very low with their struggles with alcohol – when they finally reached out to us and stopped drinking they were certainly in pain. But by connecting with others in the same situation they were able to learn how to use that pain to grow – and to discover their purpose.

First our pain – then our rising

  • Quote from Glennon Doyle  “the willingness to dwell in our discomfort and truly listen is how we turn our pain into power”.
  • So that’s the Sober Short for today – Our Third Tool from our Sober Toolbox – Build your emotional strength.

If YOU’VE got a favourite tip that you’d like me to share on Sober Shorts then just email it to me janet@nulltribesober.com.

And don’t forget to check out our weekly podcast – its full of recovery stories and expert advice– its called Tribe Sober and it comes out every Saturday morning.

More info

  • Join Tribe Sober and learn how to quit drinking and go on to thrive in your alcohol free life  – you can join up HERE
  • To access our website click HERE
  • If you would like a free copy of our “Annual Tracker” or our e-book “66 Days to Sobriety” please email janet@nulltribesober.com
  • If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email janet@nulltribesober.com

Episode Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today
Read more about our 7-step program and subscribe HERE

Book a Chat with Sue to find out if our membership would help you – email her on membership@nulltribesober.com.


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Thank you for listening!

Till Next Week

Janet x


PS   How to leave a rating/review in Apple Podcasts (on an iOS device)

1. Open the Podcasts app. EASY.

2. Choose “Search” from the bottom row of icons and enter the name of the show (i.e., “Tribe Sober”) into the search field.

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The 11 Year Fact

Did you know that the average dependent drinker will struggle alone for 11 years before reaching out for help?

Don’t wait for 11 years – join Tribe Sober today!