Published On: June 18, 2021655 words3.3 min read

Tribe Sober – inspiring an alcohol-free life!

My guest this week is Dr Stephan Neff – a German who is living in New Zealand.

Stephan began to drink heavily at university and carried on into his twenties and thirties.

The medical profession was demanding and he used alcohol to cope with stress.


In this Episode

  • At the age of 35, Stephan realised that his drinking was becoming problematic but pushed it to the back of his mind
  • Alcohol was numbing the pain and giving him a temporary respite from the stress
  • His wife also drank a lot – they were both A-type personalities, striving to succeed, using alcohol to relax
  • Stephan’s wife managed to stop drinking and then began to urge him to make a change but with no success
  • He was getting worse and worse – not enough alcohol to numb the pain
  • Stephan hit rock bottom one night and was found crying in his garage – his wife arranged for him to go to rehab two days later
  • She issued him an ultimatum – he would lose his family if he didn’t go to rehab. He felt relieved but also full of shame
  • Not everybody has to hit “rock bottom” before they make a change – get some help and join tribesober
  • Rehab was life-changing for Stephan – in the bubble of rehab for 4 weeks, everything changed
  • The staff were great – many of the staff were ex-addicts who were clean and thriving – they inspired him
  • Stephan felt that he was being “listened to” and could “speak his truth” finally
  • We offer a complimentary recovery coaching session to our members so they can experience the power of being listened to
  • As part of his treatment, he wrote a letter which was full of grievances – to help him deal with his resentment and anger
  • Coming out of rehab was a bit of an anti-climax. Nobody was that interested – he had to “walk the talk” to show he had changed
  • Stephan has learned to avoid HALT – being Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired – which is what could trigger him
  • He talked about the difference between a “lapse” and a full-blown “relapse”- after a lapse, we need to “get curious”
  • Our annual trackers help our members to get stay on track after a lapse. If you’d like an annual tracker, email
  • In his book “Steps to Sobriety” he goes into details about relapses and what causes them – often a lack of self-care
  • Stephan has a podcast called “Into the Light” and a YouTube channel
  • Treat a craving as a wave in the ocean – surf it rather than let it drown you!


More info

  • Subscription membership  – you can join up HERE
  • To access our website click HERE
  • If you would like a free copy of our”Annual Tracker” please email
  • If you would like to come to our Saturday afternoon Zoom Cafe as a guest and meet our community just email


Episode Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by the Tribe Sober Membership Program.  If you want to change your relationship with alcohol then sign up today.

Read more about our program and subscribe HERE.

Book a Discovery Call with me to find out if our membership would help you.


Help us to spread the word!

We made this podcast so that we can reach more people who need our help.  Please subscribe and share.

We release a podcast episode every Saturday morning.

You can follow Tribe Sober on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram and join our Tribe Sober Club on Clubhouse – we are on Clubhouse every Sunday afternoon at 5pm SA time so come join the conversation.

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Thank you for listening!

Till Next Week

Janet x


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