So today I say goodbye to a substance called alcohol, that successfully consumed 80% of 40 years of my 60 years on this earth so far. It successfully took over the way I thought and behaved and functioned in various degrees for all those years.
It stole my life without me even realizing it. It consumed my whole life and left a path of sad broken hearts, and sometimes even destruction, and I did not even realize it was all my own doing. I lost complete touch of what was right and what was wrong, what actually mattered.
It is all lost – lost memories – I struggle to remember everyday events because I was living in another world. My 5 children were born, grew up and have now all gone to live their own lives – and I missed most of it because I was not thinking with a sober mind. This I deeply regret, and alcoholism stole that from me, and I can never ever replace what’s gone. All I can do is try to reconnect and regain their trust.
I have been plus/ minus six months sober. I had been realizing for the last 15 years I had issues with alcohol and no matter what I tried or did, I just could not change what I was beginning to realize was becoming a real problem. Six months ago I sat one day late afternoon and realize I could not carry on this way and had to end this downward spiral – I was out of control. On this day I eventually reached out and the right person was there to catch me and that day was the beginning of the end.
I first thought I would learn to moderate, but over the months I came to the absolute definite realization that this would never be and I was good with that.
I now live a totally sober life. I do not miss anything about the substance and have complete control of my life and am absolutely loving it.
So today I happily bid farewell and am confident I will never go back and I look forward to the years I have left living a clean healthy life and lifestyle.
I am so proud of where I stand today.