Published On: April 6, 2019397 words2 min read

FRIEND OR FOE?

You were there for me to enhance my mood when I was happy, partying and socialising.

You were there for me to  block out emotions when I was sad, depressed, bewildered, stressed and anxious.

You never judged me or talked back, you just calmed me down and offered a form of escape from my own troubled mind.

You never left my side. I knew I had you as a crutch to lean  when I couldn’t confide in anyone else. You were my comfort and escape from the reality I chose not to accept.

You came in many strengths, colours and flavours  and never failed to sweep me along to a place of mindless isolated escapism.

You were a massive part of my life, but I never asked you to take over my life: my family; my relationships; my work; my finance; my personality; my physical and emotional well-being. However, due to my own regret and despair, I let you, I choose you to think for me. I never fought back, I stupidly thought I couldn’t cope without you. I tried to live without you but you wouldn’t let me, you just wanted me to merely exist with you. I was too weak to fight back.

You took over my mind, thoughts and emotions. You are not a friend, you tried to destroy the identity I possessed before I met you. I wish I had never met you.

You may always tempt me in some capacity when I am weak and vulnerable, however, I am now wise to your deceitful advances. I have witnessed and experienced the consequences of letting you back into my life again. You can’t harm me if I let you go. I am in control of my life, not you. I make my own positive choices with a clear mind, free from you.

You make choices which are negative and destructive for me. Only I can end our relationship which is toxic and past its expiry date. I want and need to eliminate you from my life because you are preventing me from living the happy and fulfilled life that  I am worthy and capable of achieving. Whatever life throws at me I will manage my reactions through the power within me and the support of those who love and accept me, for just BEING ME.

Maresa

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