Published On: February 6, 2018867 words4.5 min read
Meet Ryan & Chané – a lovely couple who came on one of our WorldWithoutWine workshops. (You cantap here for more info on our upcoming workshops).
They’ve ditched the drink and pretty much transformed their lives – but why don’t I let Chané tell their story …
“Like most South Africans, my husband Ryan and I have had a very socially acceptable relationship with alcohol since our teens, we are now 40 and 43. As 2 young, introverted adults (growing up separately), we both used booze for the social confidence to successfully fit into any occasion or party; a couple of glasses of whiskey, wine, champers or beer and we were the life of any event.
Fast forward a few of years and meeting each other in the high-stress and extremely social television industry, we quickly become a drinking force to be reckoned with. No matter what party, we were always the last to leave and if you were invited to our house, you probably wouldn’t leave till the sun’s up. We always wanted to know who were those people that as soon as the night was at its best, would say good night and leave with a smile.
As we started getting older and especially when we started a family, the party lifestyle wasn’t what it used to be and something was missing.
One (lucky and coincidental) day we happened to be driving at the same time in separate cars and heard the soothing voice of a British lady who spoke to dear Eusebius about Tribe Sober and the inability to moderate. That night when kids were in bed, and us, with a beer in hand, started talking about what we heard on the radio. We hadn’t heard the whole conversation so we scrambled for the podcast then listened to every word.
It was such a relief to hear that other people had similar problems and made us look at ourselves and into our past, where did it all start. How can something so available and acceptable be so soul destroying, and how did we miss or ignore this revelation for so long.
Everything Janet said was me, was us.
How many hours, rands and opportunities were wasted with empty afternoons and evenings of drinking till closing time
Sometimes someone just needs to say the obvious, and if you are ready to accept what you already knew then the battle is half won.
I didn’t want to be mediocre and just another sheep in the herd anymore. I am better than that. We are better than that. I want to be one of the cool kids that say: No thank you, I don’t drink. You can still have an awesome night, in fact a BETTER night.
When we decided to sign up for the workshop, we were obviously scared. It was out of our comfort zone, is it going to be one of those … Trust me fall back in my arms kind of workshops? No drink to hold in my hand and guide me through it. Are they going to see the introvert in me that actually doesn’t like making small talk, which a drink always made better. It is all these small things that are actually big things that pushes us to grab a glass.
“The hardest part of giving up alcohol is not the craving for a drink, it’s getting to know yourself again, the person that’s been hiding for so long that you don’t even know anymore” – Chané, Workshop Graduate
The advantages are infinite… All the extra time you have on your hands to do something rewarding, all the conversations you now can remember, just being yourself and never having to be on the back foot because of what alcohol made you do or not do.
I think the battle was mostly won already because Ryan and I were committed in starting this journey together and it has been a flippen awesome ride. I will never drink again, we will never drink again!
In the words of my beautiful husband: Alcohol makes strong men weak”
I don’t want to be weak, I want to be Chané and the best I can be.
Most importantly, our kids are ultimately who we are. If we want the best for them, we need to be the best example we can be!
PS: My only advice, after you’ve made your decision to either abstain completely or just moderate, don’t hide from social events. Because as you conquer each without alcohol you see how you don’t need alcohol to be your awesome self!
And remember people will change towards you and people’s perception of you will change. But don’t let other people’s denials, demons and insecurities deter you. Good luck at being the best you!
We certainly feel a lot better these days and I reckon we look at lot better too!”
What a wonderful and inspiring story from two of my favourite workshop graduates. Congratulations guys – you look amazing!
For more info on upcoming workshops in Joburg and Cape Town tap here.